


No Patience

by ImNotGonnaGetTired



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Hotel Sex, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Quiet Sex, Shameless Smut, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 13:39:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18099593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImNotGonnaGetTired/pseuds/ImNotGonnaGetTired
Summary: Mulder and Scully can't wait to get their hands on each other.Two other FBI Agents assigned to their case are a nuisance.





	1. The Long Drive Back to the Hotel

**Author's Note:**

> This one started out one way and ended up wholly different than I expected. A bit more humor than usual.

The road before us is dark as our rental car hums along. Another case closed, another late night drive to a seedy hotel, maybe a few hours sleep and then back to D.C.

I think of all the times we've spent heatedly discussing said cases on these very same long drives -- a way to circumvent the real heat, I suppose. That's no longer a problem. 

"What'cha thinking about, Scully?" he asks, keeping his eyes on the road. 

"Last night," I say.

My confession fails to garner a verbal response but suddenly the car is going a little faster, Mulder's foot pressing harder on the gas pedal. 

I chance a glance at him. Not too long, mind you; if I look too long we won't make it back to the motel. 

No, I'll just have to wait. You'd think another fifty miles after four years would be easy... but it's been a very long day; a day that followed an even longer night wherein Mulder and I shared the slowest, most scintillating fuck imaginable. 

To take Mulder at all is unbearably good; to take him slow and deep and quiet... is magic. 

The thought of us skin to skin again on that creaking motel mattress has my panties flooding with heat and wetness, my endurance faltering. We'll have to be as silent as we were last night -- slow and steady, precise. Memories of the tingling waves of pleasure that rolled over my body every time I sunk down on him seize me and I moan out loud. I don't mean to do so, but there it is, my need exposed for God and Mulder to hear. 

He turns to me now and our eyes meet. I should be able to control myself; it's twenty minutes, at most, to the motel. But that's twenty minutes I just don't have.

"Scully?" 

"Pull over," I tell him and he immediately begins to brake and carefully pulls off the road. It rained hard last night and dirt and grass slosh under the tires. We may not be able to get out of this little inlet here and back on the road, I worry fleetingly, but then our seat belts are clicking loose and nothing matters anymore but him and me, alone, together. 

Mulder's mouth crashes down hard on mine, molding tight. His kiss is delicious, but I can savor it only as long as it takes me to need it even more desperately elsewhere. I expose the column of my neck and to my delight he bites it gently, grasping the flesh between his teeth, causing a thousand tingles of pleasure to erupt and engulf my body. My nipples harden painfully and I moan deep and low, hands grasping at his jacket in a fevered attempt to get it off. 

Tiny kisses rain down on my neck before I feel the edge of his teeth again followed by the hot roughness of his tongue. I melt entirely under his attentions and all I want is to get him closer. Reading my mind, he barks "back seat," and lets me go. When he takes the key out of the ignition we're plunged into darkness save for the light of the full moon. 

I quickly move from the front seat to the outside of the car and watch as he does the same. His jacket is tossed over the steering wheel before he slams the front door closed, moving toward the back one. The night air is cool and sweet and breathing it in makes me even more ravenous. I'm about to fuck Mulder and no one on Earth knows we're here. No one can see us; no one can hear us, and once we're both inside the car again I waste no time flinging myself back into his arms. 

He accepts me greedily, pulling me close and going straight for my neck again, biting and sucking while his hands tear my blouse open and dive inside for my breasts. Finding both at the same time he pinches the nipples hard and I cry out as more tingling waves hit.

What was wet before is now dripping, and I want nothing more than to get us both naked. 

Buttons go flying as I rip open his shirt and attempt to tug the knot of his tie open. Knowing he can do it faster, his hands push mine away, and I relent, moving instead to tearing my own blouse and bra off and tossing them aside. I help him with his T-shirt and we both growl when that first skin on skin contact happens. He's back at my neck again and every tiny nibble and lick goes straight to my cunt. I bury my hands roughly in his hair then yank up hard to get him where I want him.

Mulder's leg is bent at the knee and I'm sitting on his thigh which leaves me high enough to take his chin between my teeth and nip it. That fucking cleft has tortured me long enough, and now I want to make it suffer a little. I tongue the sensual little indent then suck his entire chin into my mouth before kissing a path over that long jawline. Whole universes aren't as beautiful as that unforgiving and entirely male expanse of jaw. 

Mulder's cock feels impossibly hard and big underneath me. I rub my thigh against it and he groans; his hand flying down to undo his belt. 

Lean back," I whisper, then, "sit up." There's no time for bemused looks; Mulder simply sees what needs to be done and does it. My left leg finds its way around his hip, and his hands are now underneath my skirt pulling my panties to the side, his cock already out and waiting. I grab it, stroke it. Fuck, I want it inside me so bad but just a little more waiting. God, how I love the sweet misery of wanting him these days... now that I know how often and how fucking deep I can have him.

He's half sitting up now hunkered against the right side of the car with me on top. I bare my neck to him again and he goes to work. Nothing makes me crazier than Mulder's mouth on my neck and his cock... "unnnnh!" sliding up inside me. 

"Rip them..." I tell him, talking about the pesky panties I no longer want on and certainly don't want stopping him from fucking me properly. Big hands apply enough pressure to tear the fabric so it's not in the way anymore and both of us moan low and heatedly when all of him slips deep inside. "Oh fuck, Scully..."

How do you explain utter bliss? My hips rush down again to get more of him and we both gasp. I fucking love him.

"Quiet..." I whisper, "quiet, Mulder..." Our little game... born, initially, out of necessity, has now become a test of wills and a hell of a turn on. 

There's no one out here to hear us, no fellow FBI Agents sharing our Hotel like last night. Yes, you heard that right. No sooner do Mulder and I finally start fucking then the FBI sends two other Agents out to help on our case. Clarke and Fitzgibbons. Two less than stellar agents but even less than stellar agents have ears and so for the last few nights its been all about the silence... and it's hard to fuck Mulder in silence. 

Mulder's arms come around me hard, so hard, it almost hurts. His mouth finds my neck again and his teeth sink in to the skin down deep just the way my body sinks into him. I tighten myself around him, rise up and then down again and the moan-stifling grasp of his teeth on my neck intensifies, his hot cry of pleasure somewhat muffled against my flesh.

I shudder with pleasure and cry out. Mulder grabs my hips and stops our coupling -- my punishment. We try again. This time when I sink down, I hold the moan in, but when he thrusts up hard inside me and the pleasure rolls over me in a hard wave, I lose it again, moaning loud and wild.

"You're bad, Scully... you're breaking your own rules..." he pants. 

"Slow," I beg. "Slow, Mulder..."

"If you intend to learn how to be quiet when I fuck you Scully, you'll never succeed if you don't let me," he thrusts upward again hard, "make it a challenge..."

He's so big and I'm so wet and he feels so good plundering the very depths of me. Something beautiful is building deep in my belly... "Oh, God," I moan as euphoria begins to set in. Mulder stops again and I take my lower lip between my teeth, trying bravely to keep the ecstasy in check.

His next thrust I can manage, but when he swiftly follows it up with three more in quick succession there's nothing I can do. 

I grab him as hard as he's grabbing me and we both moan in unison. Maybe the fear of pricked up ears through thin motel walls can lead to the slow, intensely hushed, nearly death-inducing fuck we had last night, but tonight there's simply no stopping us.

"Yeah, tell me how good it feels when I fuck you, Scully... tell. me. how. good..." His thrusts are bone-rattlingly insistent and he gives me no time to recoup from one to the next. It's too late... my body is pulsing of its own accord, twitching and quaking and nothing in this world is going to stop the shout of pleasure building in my throat from erupting.

He bites down on my neck again and the world stops. Blinding light and our bodies moving together so perfectly I could almost forget we're fucking in a ratty old rental car on the side of the road. A man's home may be his castle, but my home is anywhere Mulder is buried deep inside me, and it doesn't matter where that is, when he takes me like this I feel like a Queen -- all my riches bestowed on me by the sweet adoration of my King.

Mulder's shout of completion registers somewhere in the back of my mind as I come hard and long in his embrace. Tears roll down my cheeks when the last tremor subsides; I've slipped into that joyous, post-ecstasy state where gratefulness takes on a new meaning. I want nothing more than to spend every minute for the rest of my life right here.

We collapse down into the pine-scented cushions, gasping for breath. I kiss as much of his delicious skin as I can reach while his hands stroke my back up and down. "Christ, Scully..." 

I may not be able to stay quiet when he's inside me but all is quiet now, reverent. He's big and warm, and I love how it feels when I can't tell whose heart it is pattering so very hard and fast between us, in that wild post-coital rhythm that can be as frightening as it is wonderful. Our hearts thunder rapidly as we lay there. 

When I start to shiver and goose-bumps tease my skin, we suddenly remember it's barely 45 degrees out tonight on this lonely muddy road in this little nowhere town. 

Mulder pulls me up for a kiss, suggesting we get dressed before we freeze to death. 

"We can warm up in the shower," I tell him and I know he knows what I mean -- I want him again -- as soon as possible. Even if I can't be quiet, the motel bathroom might be if the door is closed and the water turned up all the way.

We're getting dressed now, handing each other clothes as we find them. Though barely in one piece, my panties are still on. At least, I won't have to find my heels; they never came off -- they usually don't.

"Scully?" he says suddenly. Something about the look on his face sets off a little alarm in my brain. What did I do? His eyes are alight with something I don't recognize.

"Yeah?" 

"Um... did you... um... call me 'King'?"

My face betrays me, I know, but I'm still going to try my best to deny it.

"No, I didn't call you King, Mulder?!" I assure him, adding an awkward huff of laughter to my denial, hoping that'll convince him he's the one that's gone over the deep-end and not me.

"I believe it was 'my King,' Scully, 'Mulder, my King', to be exact."

I can't imagine how busted I must look like right now. I tell him to keep dreaming, but when he pulls me in for a kiss I take the opportunity to worship him as a good subject should. I kiss his cheeks, his mouth, his forehead; I stroke his beloved face with the rapt tenderness my heart tells me I should. I'm more humbled than embarrassed, really, and humility requires bravery. 

Still and all: "If you ever mention it again, Mulder, there won't be a castle big enough for the two of us." 

"Scouts honor," he promises.

Looking not too worse for wear, considering we were just a tangle of limbs, we're soon on the road again. The mud under the tires wasn't an obstacle, and Mulder's got the heat turned up high. I open the window a crack to breathe in the crisp clean air. I want to look over at him, to smile my approval at how happy he's made me, but I don't. If I do, we'll be pulling over again and will never make it to the hotel. I rest my eyes for a while, and in fifteen minutes we've arrived.


	2. How Loud is the Water? How Loud can we Make It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at the hotel... Mulder and Scully fool around.

The Hotel we're staying at, aptly named 'Long Nights Inn,' looks inviting for once as we get out of the car and head inside.

"Put your jacket on, Mulder." He realizes why he should when I point to his open shirt -- he can't exactly close it when we've left all of its buttons back in the rental car. 

As if on cue, Agent Clarke pops out of his room just as we're arriving at Mulder's. 

"You guys just getting back now?"

"Yeah, we had a flat. Had to let Scully change it." Mulder grins. 

"She's that kinda woman, eh?" Clarke smiles. 

"Yes, yes, I am. I'll let you guys talk, I'm beat... gonna go shower." I need Mulder now; go away Clarke.

"I'm beat too," Mulder says quickly. "Catch ya later, Agent Clarke."

"It's barely 9 p.m. you fuddy duds! Fitzy and I are playing a little poker if you change your mind."

Fitzgibbons and Clarke aren't bad people; they're female/male partners just like we are. On another night it might be nice to get to know them but not tonight. 

"OK, thanks," I hear Mulder say just as I'm putting the key in my door.

No poker, I think; a shower and more sex is what I need.

Though surrounded by the enemy, our rooms still connect, thank goodness. I knock lightly on the adjoining door just as a courtesy; it's never locked. Mulder opens it and takes me in his arms giving me a heated kiss.

"Poker?" I ask. "You," he says and kisses me again.

Before things get too out of hand I ask him for five minutes alone in the shower before he joins me. He agrees and begins to take off his clothes. 

 

I undress in record time and get under the hot spray, washing myself in all the places I know Mulder's going to want to investigate. Just as I'm getting thoroughly warm and clean, Mulder arrives. His dick is in the shower before he is. It's fully erect and fills me with the most delicious yearning. I reach for the soap hoping to lather him up and explore that wonderful body of his, but it's not to be. He's already got me pushed into the corner and is kissing me senseless. 

"No soap, too slippery. The last thing I wanna do is break this," he says before kissing down my body fast and greedy. He nips and bites my nipples and I flood with wetness.

"Mulder..." I say quietly, grasping fistfuls of his spiky hair.

His left arm slides under my right leg and lifts it. For security his hand grabs the HOT water faucet handle and holds on tight. It's not a perfect angle but his tongue can reach my clit and the first lick sends me soaring. "Oh fuck, Mulder... mmmm so good..." 

He tickles me with his tongue, flicking light and fast and I squirm with delight. "Tastes so good..." he mumbles. His forearm lifts my leg up higher encouraging me to open myself more for him and when I do, with some dexterity, he manages to get his tongue inside my hot little hole. Every swipe around and around the sensitive opening is madness. "Oh, God... Mulder... soooo good..." 

"Mmmmm," he moans as he licks and licks. His other hand engulfs my breast and he squeezes and teases my nipple. My fingers sneak down to my clit and I rub it in small circles using just the right amount of pressure at just the right speed. 

"Oh, yeah... gonna come Mulder, oh please Mulder..."

It's a good thing the water is cascading right down Mulder's back or he'd be drowning in more than my hot cunt.

His tongue is working magic on my slippery opening. Not delving all the way in, just teasing around and around the sensitive nerves. I try to lift my leg higher to make it easier on him, and, finally, my foot comes to rest on the faucet handle. Mulder growls when he gets deeper access to my juicy slit, licking and tonguing till I'm right at the edge. My fingers are nothing more than a butterfly's wings against my swollen clit, and fearing I'm about to lose my mind I move the hand buried in Mulder's hair up to cover my mouth. 

I do my best to climax like a wild woman with as much decorum as possible, but it's hard to accomplish when Mulder knows just what I need.

I'm gasping for breath; tiny white stars are bursting behind my closed eyes and Mulder's lapping at me softly, reveling in what only he can create.

"Mmmmm Mulder..." I gaze down at his sweet face. "So good..." 

"I always want to make my Queen feel good..."

My smile must be goofy as hell cause he gives me an even goofier one back. "Now, I need you somewhere more sturdy..."

 

We get out of the shower dripping wet and Mulder tosses some towels over the closed toilet seat. "Sit," he tells me and I obey. "Get those legs back..."

I slip my hands under my knees and open myself for him. He tosses towels down on the floor for comfort and dives back in. Mulder licks and licks, then plunges his tongue inside like a tiny, rough cock, fucking me till I feel like I'm gonna slip over the edge again. "Oh yeah... Oh... Mulder..."

Before I can ride another wave of ecstasy Mulder's mouth is on mine and his cock has replaced his tongue, burying itself deep inside. His hands slip under my ass and, grabbing it, he fucks his cock with my body, pulling me forward again and again till I'm ready to fly apart. There are no free hands to cover my mouth this time, and God in Heaven I'm going to scream. Mulder's cock is so hard, so long and big and I come like a crazy woman, yelping and shouting as Mulder plunders and plunders until I have nothing left to give. My cunt melts into oblivion around his massive girth and nothing has ever felt as good. 

His cock touches every inch inside of me, every sweet spot that was crying out for release. It's too damn good, but apparently, Mulder intends to make it even better. He knows I love it when he fucks his big cock with my tight, needy cunt so this strategy doesn't change, only now he's taking me slower with long deep thrusts that bottom out hard against my womb. 

He kisses me again, my face, my throat, my collarbone... all brushed lightly by his downy soft lips. 

"Come for me my beautiful Queen... come while I worship you... show me you understand how much I love you..." 

Something wild inside me lets go... I shout with utter bliss at my lover's tender words, my body and spirit rising together until I shatter in a way I'd never dreamt possible before this very moment... 

"Mmmmm, I love you Scully, love you so fucking much..." He grunts and shouts and when he climaxes I feel the torrent of heat fill me up, bathe me, and I know I'm the only women on Earth who can honestly say she's been given a glimpse of Heaven. Mulder's face is tucked into my neck as he tries hard to bury the sounds, but it's too late for both of us. We can only hope the location we've chosen and the pounding water have given us some cover.

I let my legs slide down now and get my feet back on the floor. My arms go around him fast in a desperate rush to show him how much I adore him. "Love you too, Mulder... love you so much. So much..." I kiss his shoulder, his neck, his cheek, then finally take his lips with mine when it seems he's gathered himself enough to kiss me back.

"God, Mulder... so good... so good..." I say between soft presses and gentle pecks.

He returns the favor by nibbling anywhere and everywhere he can reach. Some day these love bites are going to get us caught, but right now, it feels too good to ask him to stop.

"Come here," he says and lifts me up carrying me to the bed. Laying me down he disappears back into the bathroom and returns with two dry towels. We dry off and climb under the comforter snuggling and murmuring words of love. He grabs a handful of my hair and holds me captive as he looks in my eyes. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, do you know that? Hmmm? Do you know how beautiful you are...?" I think I'm going to faint.

"Lay back," he tells me before kissing me everywhere again. My mouth, my neck, my breasts... down the column of my belly and over my ivory-white thighs. "You're so perfect... God, Scully, I love you..." Our mouths meet again and our kisses now are savage, hungry; it's frightening at times how much I need him. 

Turning me over onto my stomach he gives my back the same tender treatment, sweet kisses pressed against my shoulder blades, my lower back, the cheeks of my ass. When he separates them and licks in between I purr like a well-petted kitten. It's a light touch, a teasing and wonderfully intimate caress of his warm tongue and my body lights up like a firework. I shudder and moan and sigh.

When Mulder's teeth bite into each soft cheek, one after the other, I think I'll die of waiting to feel his tongue sweep in between once more. When it does and then sweeps even lower to caress my sopping cunt I beg to be fucked.

"On your knees," he instructs; I obey and before I can think he's thundering inside me once again. I grab a pillow so I can groan and whimper into it. The bed creaks and thuds. As if reading my mind, Mulder quickly moves us to the floor, pulling the comforter behind him and spreading it out.

In a heartbeats time, he's back inside me. Mulder spreads his knees out wide so he can get low enough to fuck me and I'm grateful for every thrust. It's not as comfortable as the bed but my beautiful Mulder can absolutely ravage me now without the squeaking and thudding we need silenced. The water in the bathroom shower is still pounding down hard as I plead and beg and squirm, shuddering and shaking as I finally come for my breathtaking lover, the fabric of the comforter bunched tight between my teeth.

Mulder's climax spills out on a strangled groan that sounds almost painful before he collapses on top of me. We lay there stunned. If this is how it's going to be between us, I'm not sure either one of us is going to survive.

Eventually we make it back to the shower. The water's still warm -- one benefit of being away from home. We're subdued now, satiated, as we climb back into bed. 

I'm still not over the fact that he heard my King admission... he fucked it out of me, I shouldn't be held responsible, but when I whisper "if that's what the Queen gets, I want to rule forever..." it's the absolute truth. I'll never forget the tender things he murmurs back to me. 

Snuggling with Mulder is not something I ever want to rush and as much as I'd like to stay here all night, I tell him I think we should get up and get dressed. 

"Why?" he wonders.

"Call it women's intuition, but I'm not sure Clarke and 'Fitzy' are through with us. Poker is no fun with two people."

"I don't wanna," Mulder pouts. 

"It's ok, it'll only be for an hour or so; once it's past 11 we'll be off the hook and we can settle in for the night."

"If you say so, Scully." 

I grab Mulder's T-shirt and slide it on before heading back to my room. Mulder doesn't mind his own nudity; I don't mind his nudity either, but if I'm not in the haze of passion I'd rather have some clothing on -- preferably Mulder's.

He gives me an amused look but says nothing.

I go back through the door to my room and change into some sweats and a soft white t-shirt. I've tucked Mulder's shirt away in my bag. Surely, he realizes he won't be getting the shirt back but 'stealing' it still gives me a little thrill, and if ever the time does come when he demands the return of his shirts, he'll have to reciprocate by giving back the dozens of panties of mine he's got stashed somewhere. I shop for them these days with Mulder in mind -- if he pilfers them I know I've done something right. 

No sooner have I arrived back in Mulder's room then we hear a knock. Mulder's eyes fly to mine.

"Told you," I whisper before scattering the files in my hand out on the bed Mulder has just made up. I watch as he hurries to open the door.

"Hey, Agent Clarke!" Mulder's attempt at looking unannoyed almost works.

"Hey, guys, I hope I'm not disturbing anything, but we really need two more players. How about it? Mini fridge goodies on us..."

Mulder looks to me. We both know we're beat. "Why not?" I say, "let me put some shoes on and we'll be right over."

Back in my room, I find my sneakers and, more importantly, a bra. Hopefully, Agent Clarke didn't catch that slip up.

"Damn, Mulder, your partner... she's a knock out. That mouth... and those tits... how do you work with her? I'd go crazy."

"If she hears any of that you'll find out just why it's not a good idea to hit on Scully, Clarke, ever." 

"Never?" Agent Clarke's eyes go wide. 

"Never," Mulder repeats.

"But that's cause you're her partner, right? I bet she wouldn't mind if I do."

"Do what?" I ask, hearing only the last bit of the conversation. 

"Um... deal first, Agent Scully. If you guys don't mind I'd like to deal first." Quick save.

"I don't mind." I take in Agent Clarke as he stands there tan and tall. Not a bad looking man -- certainly no Mulder, though. 

"You're still gonna lose," I add as we head out across the hall.


	3. Poker Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Scully are invited to play Poker

The door to Agent Clarke's room is open and as soon as I walk in I have an a-ha moment. They've already been drinking -- polished off quite a bit from what I can see. 'Fitzy' greets me with a bright-eyed smile. "Is that cute partner of yours coming too?" she asks, and then winks at me, "unless he's already spoken for?"

"Mulder? Spoken for? No... no, he's not spoken for." Innocent as a lamb, I am. 

Fitzy's a voluptuous blonde with pale blue eyes and adorable freckles.

"Who's not spoken for?" Mulder asks as he reaches the door.

"It's nothing, Mulder." His eyes go immediately to Fitzy's tits which are covered by very little and I'm sure he, too, knows what I just figured out. They don't want to play cards; they just want to 'play.'

Agent Clarke shows us an offering of candy, chips and booze. "Enjoy, enjoy!" he says. Mulder chooses chips and I grab some candy, asking if there's any soda or water. Nobody's plying me with booze.

"Soda? Come on, Dana, live a little," Agent Clarke encourages. 

My whole body hurts from Mulder's Worship the Queen game; I think I've lived enough for one day.

"Dana. That's such a pretty name... don't you think so Clark?" Fitzy asks. 

"Oh, you guys call each other by your last names too?" Mulder queries.

"No, Clark's my first name." Mr. tall and tan smiles.

"Your name is Clark Clarke?" The mischief in Mulder's eyes is priceless and he nearly chokes on a chip.

"Hey," Clark Clarke responds, "it's better than Fox!!" 

"You've got me there," Mulder laughs. 

"I don't know, I think Fox is a nice name." I'm still a bit miffed he won't let me call him Fox, so I take the opportunity to remind him. 

Fitzy's eyes are stuck to Mulder like glue. "The name certainly fits, that's for sure." 

"Uh oh, Mulder, Marigold's got her eye on you." Clark's beaming now as if he's just gotten us all one step closer to the partner swap he's always dreamt of. 

"Marigold?" Mulder and I say simultaneously.

"Why do you think I let Clark Clarke here call me Fitzy?" Fitzy smiles and we smile too.

"Tell 'em how you got that name, Fitzy." 

She looks wistful. "Well, on the account of it being my Mama's favorite flower... and how'd you come to be called Fox, Foxy?"

"I have absolutely no idea," Mulder deadpans in that amusing way I love so much. Meanwhile, Clark has started to deal. "$1.00 ante! put her up!" 

I can't seem to take my eyes off Fitzy's humungous tits. They're practically hanging out of her barely there shirt, but much to my relief I find Mulder hardly takes a second glance. He's being a gentlemen which is more than I can say for Agent Clarke who keeps eyeing my gals rather blatantly.

"Wait, a minute, let me go get some cash." My partner pops out of his seat.

While Mulder runs back to his room to grab some ante money, Fitzy once again tells me how attractive my partner is.

Clark Clarke's face suddenly seems a bit less joyful than it was a moment ago and I wonder if there isn't something more going on here.

"All the girls love Mulder," he says "and some of the boys, too, I've heard." 

"Really?" I'm genuinely curious. Mulder and I have our suspicions about what other Agents say and think about us, but it's never been confirmed before.

"Absolutely," Clark promises. "He's got the prettiest partner in the whole FBI and yet he doesn't seem to want to lay a finger on you. Makes people wonder if he bats for the other team." The throb in every conceivable place on my body assures me otherwise.

Fitzy's voice rises. "If he can withstand the hottest little redhead around, one Miss Dana Scully, he must be gay, isn't that right Clark?" Her question is laced with something I'm afraid Clark Clarke may be too tipsy to pick up on. 

Maybe I can help. 

"Uh oh, Clark, I think you're making Fitzy jealous!" 

"Who's jealous of what?" Mulder asks returning with some ones and fives in his hand.

"As if..." Clark moans. 

"As if what?" Mulder's back in the seat beside me now and tossing his cash onto the table.

"As if Fitzy would be jealous of me. Three years we've been partners and all she does is try to hook me up with other Agents!" Clark, looking less than thrilled, puts his head down and starts to deal. He reaches for his tiny bottle of gin, though, before all the cards are laid out, and takes a big swig.

"When have I ever tried to hook you up with another Agent?" Fitzy demands, incredulously. 

"Um, tonight!!" Clark says, raising the bottle to his lips again.

"Tonight? What are you talking about?"

"Tonight, Fitzy! You said you thought Dana and I would make a cute couple and why not invite them over for some poker!" 

"Oh, no! Clarke! No. No. YOU couldn't stop talking about pretty little Dana here, so I figured maybe if we invited her over, you might finally get lucky and get laid and stop flirting with every female agent we're assigned to work with." 

Fitzy's sunny disposition has all but disappeared and Clark Clarke's face is beet red. Neither Agent seems too interested in Mulder and I anymore, or Poker, but we're sticking around anyway. Gotta see how this one ends.

Mulder, ever the statesman begins to speak but is cut off by Clark Clarke's anger.

"I flirt? I flirt?! Come on Marigold!! You're the one who flirts!! 'Oh, Agent Mulder, isn't he handsome, isn't he smart, do you think I'd ever have a chance with him? Oh, Fox, what a nice name. What an apt name!' It's embarrassing, Mari."

"Embarrassing? Embarrassing?!" 

Things are going from bad to worse now as Fitzy... I mean Marigold... I mean Mari is visibly fuming. 

"Embarrassing?" she screams again. "Do you know what's embarrassing? This Clarke, THIS is embarrassing!"

Marigold 'Mari' Fitzgibbons has just grabbed those humongous boobs of hers and is squeezing them hard and thrusting them towards a stunned Clark Clarke.

"I've got these, right here, right in your face and you won't even take a look at 'em, not even a peep, that's embarrassing, Clark! What kind of man are you anyway?"

"WHAT??!!" Clarke is on his feet now and I'm starting to wonder if Mulder and I are gonna have to jump in the middle of a brawl here.

"What kind of man am I? What kind of man am I?" His face is livid now, but I also think I detect some hurt.

"You heard me!" Mari bellows.

If I didn't know better I'd think Clark Clarke was gonna cry when he declares "Is that what you want Mari... huh? For me to ogle you... treat you like just another piece of ass?"

"You know what Clark? It just MIGHT BE! But, you don't even see me, Clark. I'm just one of the guys to you... listening to your stupid tittie jokes and your worn-out ass jokes! Well, I've got tits and I've got an ass!"

How much have these two had to drink anyway? Mulder and I exchange glances. Should we intercede?

"I see your tits, Mari, OK, I see them!!" 

"Right, Clark, right!! I could be naked right now and all you'd see is pretty Miss Dana Scully! Well, I'm pretty too, Clark, OK, I'm pretty too!"

Mari looks like she's about to cry now. 

"I know you are, Mari! I know, OK! You're beautiful, you're smart, you're everything I've ever wanted, but you don't want me, so am I supposed to beg? Live like a monk? While you check out every guy that walks by?"

Mari looks stunned now, her cheeks turning an almost worrisome shade of fuscia. "What did you say?"

"Nothing! I didn't say anything, OK, Mari? You've got it all figured out, you don't need to know what I think, you never have." Clark turns away and heads for the door. Mulder stops him.

"Wait! Get your ass back here Clark. Tell her what you said..."

"She doesn't care!" Clark Clarke yells, but he looks more sad now than mad, and it's as plain as day that Mari absolutely cares when her eyes well up with unshed tears. Much to my surprise and chagrin, my eyes are filling up too. Nobody on the planet knows how she feels better than I do.

I decide I need to help. "I think she does care, Clark, very much... don't you Mari?" I offer gently.

"What does it matter if I care, he doesn't care!! I mean look at me!" She grabs those pendulous, near naked beautiful boobs and stares at me in defeat. "What more can I do?" 

"Everybody shut up!!" Mulder yells. "Take it from me Clark, you don't want the woman you love walking around thinking you couldn't care less; that's just a living hell. Believe me! Now, speak!"

"Come on..." Mulder urges more softly now.

I've got my arm around Mari's shoulders as Clark approaches us and sits back down.

"I was only staring at Dana to try to make you feel bad."

"Make me feel bad? For what?!" she asks.

"For not loving me the way I love you... there I've said it. I love you ok, Mari? You're the most perfect woman I've ever met. You're smart, you're funny, you're gorgeous and all I've ever wanted to do was make you mine..."

"Make me yours? You love me??" Her voice is so full of hope, it's downright sappy.

"More than anything," Clark Clarke confesses, his eyes giant pools of want. 

"Oh, Clark," Mari sighs before flinging herself and her humungous boobs right into her partner's waiting arms. Their kiss is not elegant but it's earnest and Mulder and I are backing outta there fast. When Clark Clarke tosses Mari down on the little folding card table, sending drinks and poker chips flying, we fear the worst. 

"The bed!" Mulder yells... then points to the bed when both heads turn in our direction.

"Bed," he repeats, his eyes wide with panic. 

I gotta get us out of here. "Let's go, Mulder." I pull him by the arm just as Mari and Clark Clarke hit the bed. There's about to be an explosion three years in the making, and all anyone who wants to survive it can do is run!

Mulder and I are almost out the door when he darts back inside. "My money!" he explains when he returns with dollars sticking out of his fingers and my face scrunches up in that 'you're a dumbass' way I've perfected just for him.

The moment we're back in his room with the door locked and bolted behind us, Mulder grabs me up in a heated kiss dropping his dollar bills on the carpet. 

"Mulder!?" I pant, when he gives me a moment to breathe.

"If they're fucking, Scully, they can't hear us fucking!!" 

I push him down on the bed and jump on top of his big, sexy body.

"Oh, Fox, you're so brilliant, but I doubt they heard us before, they were too loaded!" I giggle, being in rather a good mood now that we've witnessed -- no facilitated -- the birth of the romance between Marigold 'Mari' Fitzgibbons and her lovestruck and long-suffering Agent Clark Clarke.

I kiss Mulder playfully, but before it gets too hot and fiery, he makes sure I still understand something.

"No one calls me Fox..." 

"The Queen has the final say, doesn't she?"

No, it turns out, she doesn't. 

 

The End


End file.
